An open letter from Mr. Right

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Dear daughters of God,

Contrary to what you have heard, I do exist. I’m no fairytale hunk with big muscles and thing for chick flicks (although, I may or may not have a man bun). So, put your daydreams of love off to the side for a minute and let me tell you what makes me, “Mr. Right” and why people keep telling you to wait for me.

The first thing I really want for you to understand is that I was not born your Mr. Right. I promise we weren’t destined to cross paths and lock eyes from across a crowded room and fall hopelessly in love. God has been working in my heart for YEARS! Do you realize what was in my heart before Christ saved me?! Of course you don’t because we haven’t met yet, but I can promise you it is equally as crazy and sinful as…

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I can’t be your Jesus.

PinterestIt’s true. I can’t save you from the toughest time in your life. What a lot of people don’t understand is that usually they look towards people for the answers they want. They sit there, with big sad eyes and just wait for the next words out of my mouth. Honestly, sometimes I wanna say “you suck” but the truth is, I can’t be your Jesus. Just because I follow Christ doesn’t mean I know anything more that you do. All this time you’re investing in others, that precious time could be used in communication with Christ. Yes, God uses us in many ways and I believe He has called us to be comfort to others. However, when people don’t even seek God but just humans, this turns into an issue.

I’ve done it before. I’ve only asked advice from my friends instead of asking God. Sometimes we think that God can’t give us immediate answers, so how about just text my friend right away. That’s just the thing. We begin to transition from only seeking humanly advice without trusting in God for direction and clarity. We’ve got it all in reverse! Us people on earth and not saviors! Ultimately God is the only One who can fix things and direct someones life. What we can do is be there for emotional support, love on people, and let them know we are praying for them. The rest, leave it up to God because if God is for us, who can be against us?

Remember Psalm 118:8 says “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man”.

The People of a North Carolina Airport.

I just wanted to share a heart-warming/wake up moment that I encountered last week. As I was flying to NYC, I had a quick stop in NC. In my spare time, I went to the bathroom to make sure I wasn’t scary looking from waking up at 5am. But the real point of the story is that I met the nicest janitor. You could hear her from outside the restroom area..in an airport. Airports are loud…people are talking all around you. Yet this little lady, with some sweet southern charm, made sure my dang toilet seat was wiped clear and that there as enough paper. That’s not even really the point. The best thing about it was that she was singing and praising Jesus as she was working and cleaning nasty bathrooms that thousands of people use each day. The moment anyone walked in, she was (joyfully) yelling “Welcome Miss, God Bless you, have a Blessed day, Jesus loves you, you have a Safe flight….”

Like seriously, she probably repeats herself 1,000 times a day and each time she says it, it’s like the first time. I was SO SO sooo tempted to get a picture of her…or a video…or even a selfie but I really have to watch myself sometimes because I get too carried away in minor situations.

Fast forward an hour, I decided to go to a different bathroom in a different terminal at the same airport. Same. Exact. Thing. Another worker was legitimately praising the Lord as she was wiping toilet seats, taking out the trash, and cleaning the mirrors. I thought that maybe this was my chance to talk to her (because what else do you do on your layover, right?), but my shyness kicked in and I left by just giving her a smile.

Guys, if someone is an airport bathroom janitor and they are giving all the Glory to God…I don’t know what else is more encouraging. These two ladies I met must have been the most positive people I’ve encountered in a while. They were witnessing to people all around them…in a darn bathroom. Seriously, how cool? What a testimony!
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Aging.

After staring at the word “aging” for a while, it starts to look really weird. Like “a-ging” and then you start to stare at “ging” for 30 seconds and wonder why it even matters.

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Anyways, recently I’ve found myself around some aging people. When I was super young, I loved them, because the elderly women in my church smelled so good and the old little men would bend down and give me a hand shake. I looked up to these people. They got my respect and my reverence. I then entered a different stage around middle school where I thought old people creeped my out so bad. I believed they were contagious of anything and everything. They were grumpy, had no humor, and thought that “teenagers” weren’t living life the right way. We apparently were robbed from our lifestyle by our very own ways of living. Cool.

Now, I see aging in an entirely different light. Yes, it’s sad. With at least some education under my belt, I now understand the difficulties they face, especially concerning medical conditions. Many are at the end of their rope while others aren’t letting age define them. Either way, they’ve gotten to a point in their life where things just kinda plateau. With the elderly (and I’m talking old old, not like your parents age or something), I’ve realized that yes, they slow, you gotta somewhat shout at them for them to understand the general topic of conversation, you sometimes want to stand your distance. But also, I also learned that they were just like me; many many years ago. They probably went to college, had jobs, did some volunteering. They experienced life and now have a history. At first, you might think that they don’t wanna talk to you. Some might try to shut you out. But if you give them a few minutes, they will open up to conversations with you. Even if it’s the simplest things, words coming from someone who has more experience that I may ever have in life in standing right in front of me. When you learn to accept this –they let their true personality shine.

I’ve witnessed this, especially this past school year. This age group is such a forgotten group of people. But quite honestly, it fascinates me. If someone can get along with the elderly, props to them. It’s almost more difficult that getting along with kids. Because one day, you yourself will hit that mark in life where you’re not much of the focus anymore. Age in beautiful.

Five Minutes.

Sometimes your [20-something] and standing in the kitchen of your [apartment or] house, making breakfast and [maybe] brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to [school or] work and [doing everything you need to do that day], and also more exciting things like books you [may be reading], and trips you want to go on, and relationships that are springing into existence, or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your own skin or in your house and you just want to go home but “Mom [and Dads]” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else but just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person make you feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over, the coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.

It’s THAT time again.

Stress.

That’s it. That’s everything I’m feeling right now. Overwhelming amounts of stress packed onto my school life. Almost too much for me to handle. It’s been affecting me so much. Too much. I sit here…putting off my finance homework for a few more moments as I chug down some ice cold water and migraine relief medicine. These next 4 weeks (1 month, whichever sounds more appealing) will be h-e-double hockey sticks for me.

How will I endure it? No, not a time countdown to summer, because THAT is stressful in itself. I will only cope with hot showers and a whole lot of Jesus-worship music to put me in a better, uplifting mood — making me thankful that I have the opportunity to have supportive parents, friends, family, and to have a God that has given me the opportunity, drive, and motivation for a career. I’ve learned that grades cannot reflect my inner self and who I really am. So, I try my ultimate hardest, but I go to bed at a reasonable time and what’s done that day is done.

The next morning, I’ll repeat my daily routines, being as driven as ever (am I trying to convince myself right now?). I haven’t been THIS tired in a very long time…but I have to remember that times like these is when I most need to rely on Christ for strength and for Him to elongate my restless nights.

The following are encouraging verses for you peeps. Write em on your mirror, sticky note your bedroom wall, but it on your dashboard in your car…I dare you!

Matthew 6:30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ.

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Love ya.

Hashtag Blessed…..but really.

“First in line to order Starbucks this morning #blessed”
“Just bought the last package of mac and cheese at the store #blessed”
“Eating chocolate cake #blessed”

Okay so basically now when someone says that they are blessed in their life…they kinda say it with sarcasm. I will admit, I’ve said it many times before on social media. But now I’ve come to realized that being blessed depends so highly on our outlook of our faith, our relationship with Christ and most definitely our attitudes.

I’ve done a lot of thinking this past week. With being around my family, I found myself thinking back on the days that I was just a young little girl swinging on my favorite tree swing that my dad made by hand on our 1 acre of green land back in Pennsylvania. I also remember the selfish fights my brother and I had that we now look back on and laugh. I recall several memories I had in public school where other kids made fun of me and I never understood why. I remember the time I tried to ride my bike and roller blade at the same time which ended up leaving bloody scratches on my cheeks and forehead. I distinctly remember the time I asked my mom why the cashier handed her back so much money at the grocery store. I remember the time when my dad told us on our family vacation he left his job because he felt led to go in a different direction with his career. I started to realize that life is so much more than being mad at my parents for forcing me to move to a state in the middle of the country (Oklahoma).  

This is when I started to realize that hardships are a part of life and absolutely no one can ignore or run away from. You have to deal with them. You learn, whether the event was a mistake or not. This week, I looked back on my life and see how far myself (and my family) has come. Honestly, we are blessed. At one point, we had everything and plenty more. The next, we had nothing. Today, we have what we need. We are blessed; without a doubt. God has taught us that the roof over our head is so so so beautiful and we need to have a grateful heart for our home. For our vehicles. For our friendships and for ourselves being together. For our health. For the way God has purposefully composed our lives. I learned to live by faith.

I am blessed to be obtaining an education, so how dare I complain about it?
I am blessed to have an amazing, supporting, loving father, mother and brother. Amazing friends. Relationships.

Honestly, a majority of us go throughout the day…taking things for complete granted. At the same time, a majority of us need to have a more thankful heart and truly understand the meaning of being blessed. Being in the United States, we live in such a rich environment and have so much freedom. God has been teaching me so much that it can all be taken from us any second. Our expiration date can be a breath away.

This afternoon, I started to go into complete stress-out mode on my dad. I told him I was worrying so much about grad school: where to go, how to pay for it, which direction to focus on etc. He looked me in the eye and said “Christina, where is all this worry rooting from?” and at first I pointed to my mom in the kitchen and said “I got those genes from her” but my dad really knew what I was thinking. Worry doesn’t come from God. He gives us confidence. He is not a God of doubt. And this is something I remind myself daily. I can’t run away from my stress and worry, but I know who I can turn to.

Peace homies.